Forgive me

Forgive me for my imperfectness,my weaknesses and stupidity.Im prone to problems,vulnerable to mistakes,slow at realising,stupid at changing and idiotic when Im down.Ive been making mistakes faster than learning from them.Im pathetic and stupid at times.Thats why sometimes i need her support and courage to push me on.To help me realise and be a better person.Sometimes I can't stand firm when everything comes like a wave in the ocean.I can't grab on when everything's too fast.I hoped too much.Im sorry.I control,kept sticking on to the selfishness,Im sorry.I can't be perfect,Im sorry.I can't be a guy who is independant,Im sorry.Despite everything,in the name of Allah,I try,I try to change myself.Im trying to stop making mistakes because I don't want to lose her.Im sorry but Im trying.Ya Allah,give me the strength.Please Ya Allah.Help your lowly,useless and weak servant.Punish me All you want,give me pain and let me suffer.Show me the light and take me out of my darkest nightmare Ya Allah.Please Ya Allah.I beg you.You bless her and our family.Give the people I love all your blessings and hapiness.Let me have all their suffering.All i ask is hapiness for them.Amin.Im sorry.Im a disapointment.A jackass.Im sorry.

Its All boud You

One day she could be loving,

Another day she might be hurting,

No matter what I'll always be holding,

Because my love is never ending.

You're like a spark easily ignited,

But I can't forget when you're soft hearted,

My love for you can never be weakened,

Because till death it'll be strengthened.

A girl is beautiful and sexy when she loves pink.When she walks like a model swaying from side to side.When she sprays herself with half-bottle gucci spray.When she put layers of make-up on her face.When she exposes herself to the world.She gives the world her privacy.She talks in a very high and pampered tone.Thats for some people.

For me,she is the most beautiful girl in the world.She don't need make up to show herself.She dont need to spray perfumes to get me attracted.She don't need to expose her parts to make me look at her.But her heart captures me.Her selfless,kind and strong courage captivates me.Her strength can take down the world's strongest man.Her determination.Her smiles brings light.Her presence brings calmness to the hearts of people.She's willing to put herself aside for other people.She's willing to sacrifice what she wants for the people she love.Thats beauty.Im proud of her.Im always thankful to Allah for letting me love her and be in love with her.I can never find and will never find any other girl like her.I'd rather be alone than to live without her.She's my strength and joy.She's my everything.Picking me up when I fall.Reminding me when I forget.Im thankful to her for being there for me always,loving me and caring about me.May Allah bless her always.Amin.I LOVE YOU SITI NUR SYAZWANI.Till my very last breath,I do.Muacks.

Im back!!!!!!

Its long since I last wrote an entry.Well Im back and feeling great.Alot of things happened.Well I just finished my exams.Now,its 7 weeks break.Urm.7 WEEKS BREAK!!!!!!!Yay!!!Thats the good thing.The bad thing is,what am I gonna do during this break?Nothing to study.Work?Haiya,lazy uh.Well I'll just spend time with my one and only dear.Its time to have fun,laughter,peace and joy.Its great man.

How am I?Well Im fine.Doing great.I just sent my dearest girlfriend to school just now.I send her almost everyday now.Sometimes i see her after her school.Well just to share somethings with her.She's having her o'level english oral today.So goodluck baby!!!!May you do well.Amin.Things have been going up and down lately.But Im glad because I get to go through everything with my baby.Well she's the greatest girl ever and I'll love her always.But we'll talk about her later.Now,its my story.Well I don't know how well I can do for my exams but Im sure I can past.Amin.Well yesterday was my last paper,EC1403 Electronics.Its so frustrating.The module coordinator seems not to be doing his job.I studied the textbook which is so damn thick guess what?He set the paper according to last year's test paper.Only thing is he just change some of the questions.A little only.Most of them were repeated questions!!My mechanics was tough though.My autocad,I couldn't finish but I hope I can do better this time round.

Well on wednesday,me and honey went to S'pore post.Then there was this woman who wasn't in the line at 1st but then she just stand in front of honey.She was like pushing my girlfriend.Idiotic se.The my by was so annoyed that she was criticizing the nyonya loudly.HAha...Then the nyonya was talking a woman wearing a scarf.The woman got the priority because she was carrying a baby but this stupid nyonya was saying that because she was wearing a scarf,a muslim thats why she's priritized.Come on man.HAha...Then my BY was talking loudly again.She goes like "Singaporean nowadays are so inconsiderate.They cannot think.They CUT QUEUE".Yup she emphasized 'CUT QUEUE'.HAha..Love you la BY.

Yesterday night,thursday,I went and meet my teacher at the mosque.Had a chat for awhile.He was with his son.Then he sent me home.Well thats all I got to write.Will b3e updating if I have time and if there are interesting things to share.So till then.

All I need is your support and love

I called her this morning to hear her voice and ask her font for her t-shirt.She shouted at me on the phone,at a very loud voice.I'll be lying if I say Im not hurt.Well I am hurt,tears came down but I don't blame her.Thankyou Baby.I really appreciate it.I know,she is doing this to make me a better person.I take it with open arms.No matter how hurt my heart gonna be,I'll always love her deep down sincerely with all my heart.I know I ain't the best of guys,i lack lots of things,I cant stop making mistakes myself.But I'll try my best to be someone useful than what i am.I'll try.

I got to chat with her.Baby,thank you for at least wanting to know.If you know how painful it is for me inside.But nevermind.I don't blame anyone.I should be treated like this.It suits me.Im just useless I know.No matter what's going to happen to me,I'll always love my family and her even if there isn't any breath left in me.Will be updating soon.

I know im always a jackass

I chat with the love of my life,but she said 'DIAM UH'.But I don't blame her.I know its my fault.My mistakes and imperfectness.I couldn't stop my stupid self from making mistakes.Everything she said about me was true.She was there,caring about me and my family.She was there supporting me when I was down.But yet.time by time,all I do is just stupid mistakes.What a loser i am?She's right saying Im just a jackass,a jerk.She have a really big heart that she pushed herself aside to make me think of my responsibilities.



Im just not strong enough but I'll try,for her and Allah.I'll try making my family happy.To be there and balance everything.Even if I have to face any criticisms.Because I know that's what she wants me to do.For my love,I'll do anything and even for my family.Im completing tuition now.Will be updating soon.

I'll be loving you forever

Awak,I know you are angry with me.But sumpah demi Allah,all I did was to get a phone to reply u.If you knew,you'll believe me.My brother just refused to give me his phone.I know you are worried about me yesterday.When I didnt reply,you were angry.Im sorry.If that is my mistake,then punish me in any way you want.Because you know,no matter how painful its gonna be for me,I'll always hang on to you.Marah i by,hit me again,do anything,you know I'll never leave you.My whole body is in pain.My arm is having cut.My back are having cramps.My legs have swollen parts.But nevermind.I'll take this pain as a punishment for all my mistakes towards you.I love you and will always do.May Allah add the pain im having now.Im sorry again.I love you.Till death I will always do.

Im sorry

Baby,im sorry if you are angry about what happened last night.Its not that I didn't want to reply to your message or what.its just that my brother hid his phone and he didn't allow me to use it.Im really sorry.Actually yesterday I fell down and landed on my side.My leg now bengkak.Got one side like something jerking out.Another side of my leg pun ade.When i alek,i tros sms u.



Then this morning I still came down eventhough you told me 'Jangan buang current'.By,its not that I didn't hear what you said but I came to see you to say how very sorry i am.It was painful for me to walk that fast but i took the pain as a punishment for myself.By,if you are having bad mood towards your family,Im really sorry.I know I've caused much trouble fror you.Because of me,you have to face your parents.Im really sorry.Its not what I want.By,if you wanna let out your emotions to me,your anger or what,just feel free k.Hit me hard if you want to.I dont mind by.I'd rather be in pain as long as i see you are alright.

By,what you said is true by.And I understand what you say its because you love me and you don't want anything to happen to us.Thank you sayang.But its not that I don't want to go home.Actually,i come to your place selalu because its where i feel peace by,being close to you.When Im at home,im stressed up because I feel like everyone and everything is pressing on me.Im just disappointed with myself by.Sometimes i just can't be what they want me to.And failing to do something makes me in pain.Sometimes Im criticized,looked down at.Its really sad by when i try doing something,no one's there to see.But when I fall,make a mistake,everyone know.I just don't understand why it has to be like that always.By,its not that im pushing my responsibilities at home.But I just don't know how by.When I nak ajar my bro,he refuses to listen to me and in the end I jugak kene marah.Im trying hasd to please my family by,but its really disappointing when no one realises how hard i try.Thats why I try to avoid by not being at home and keeping myself bz outside.Im just afraid by that i fail,fail to be a good son and brother in their eyes.Everytime they criticize me,I still stand on eventhough its really painful inside.But I'll try by,I'll keep trying.All I want is the people i love to be happy.I'd rather pierce a knife through my heart,feel the deep pain,as long as I can see the people i love smile.

Awak,Im really sorry for everything.If im the cause of your problems,I promise i'll never forgive myself and i'll hurt myself.All i want is your hapiness.No matter what,I'll always love you and will always do till death come and take me away.

DAte

Smiles!!!!!!MRsmint.

Us when we are out dating.HAha.Not an ordinary one,but a study date at my sayang's future school LASALLE AMIN!!!!!!!!

Its on a saturday,15 August 2009.We met at 751 and head out for Bugis.Had our lunch at Lasalle itself,my sayang's favourite Bee Hoon.By,time by time spent with you,it brings me joy and happiness deep down from the bottom of my heart.Thankyou for everything sayang.We went shopping(window shopping haha) at bugis junction.We looked at the clothes in Topshop and dorothy perkins.Something caught the eyes of my sayang,a vintage type shirt.By,we work together and earn the money together to buy k dear.Then we studied at Lasalle.We were commenting on the security gaurds.Haha..Some were really lazy.Imagine a security guard who dont even know the building???Nonsense.Then we sang together.But....HAha.U know this one by.WHEN YOU DISTURBED AND LAUGHED AT ME ALL THE WAY.HAhaGigit awak baru tau.

Ok,till here.Will be updating soon.Love you baby.

Happi Anniversary

Its 9.49pm.

Just a few more hours away from my 1year5months.

By,now all i feel is so cranked up.Im so agitated.I feel so stressed up.I got an assignment that is dued today but i just got to know.All thanks to the BLACK MAMBA!!!!

Updated at 8.43am.
I left starbucks yesterday around 10+.I got my work and left for home straight.Then i finished my work at around 1+.I made something for my by.Just something not special,i got no money.But by,if you judge it with your heart,its really ikhlas from me sayang.Thankyou for being there for me when I need you most.Thankyou for cooling down the flame that was burning in me.i really appreciate it honey.I really do.Thankyou veri2 much baby.

Im in school now.Studying for my exam later.Baby,goodluck for your mock test k sayang.May Allah bless you and give you good results k my dear.No matter what outcome it is,im always proud of you because you tried.

My princess,I can't live without her.She's the only one that will always be in my heart,now and forever.No matter what happens,I'll always be there for her even if I have to suffer pain.I know,there's no one else for me that i want to share my heart with.Only her till death comes and take me.No other girl can ever take her place.Her strength and will is an eye opener for me.She came like a light brighting up my darkest times.Giving me a knock so hard that Im awakened from the deepest sleep I fell in.Thankyou veri much honey.May Allah bless you.amin

Our memories

The 1st time i sat in front of her,my heart kept pounding.I kept looking down.I was trembling,nervous.Imagine sitting in front of a girl who u've always like.Who you always look at but you got no opportunity nor courage to approach.It gives a chill down my spine when she smiled at me.Then,she's the 1st girl who I get to know and talk to her parents.The 1st to come to my house.Being with her always makes me feel as if Im flying.Her joy,strength and willingness was an eye opener.She got inner beauty which captivates me.She was willing to leave her family just to stay and accompany her grandma.She was the first who cared alot boud me.She's always there to share my problems.We were always in my class in the morning.Sometimes we cry together.we shared amost everything.Usually during recess,we'll sit behind my classroom or go walk around together.There's once we were joking in my class while she was studying for her exams,she tickled me till i fell on the floor.We even did centre parting and laughed at each other.Whe she got problems,we'll walk around and share.When she ran,i went out looking for her.Morning or night.By,if you can read my blog,you'll know.U'll understand by.My love is for eternity,just for you,never will there be a replacement.I love you ikhlas for Allah n rasul.I've made a promise and I'll keep it.In my heart,there's only one,which is you,till death.

So stupid of me

By,im sorry.I know,I can never be a perfect person like you want.I make a lot of mistakes in the past.I do this and that.Everything is my fault.Me this and that.i even ruined my last chance.What a jackass I am?You are right.I banyak susahkan you.Im a life ruiner.A destroyer.But i try to change by,I learnt from my mistake.I do.I ask you,is it fair that Im punished like this just for forgetting?Im a normal human.I cant be perfect.I do make lots and lots of mistakes.But dont i deserve to be forgiven,just for my mistake as a man?I take it by,its difficult for you to just forgive.But,Ive hurt you alot.I know I keep asking for chances.Then I keep making mistakes.But trust me sayang,Im changing.Do i force you like what i did last time?Ade ke I pentingkan diri I sendiri?Im sorry that I menyusahkan you.I know what jerk I am.I love u and I really do syg.If you know what's in my heart,you'll see by.I love you.im willing to give everything,even give up my life just for you dear.i know how much you regret meeting me.But i dont by.Till death,I'll love you always.Hate my all you want.I deserve to be hated.Im just a loser who always screw up everything.I hope I'll be punished by Allah for my mistakes.