Forgive me

Forgive me for my imperfectness,my weaknesses and stupidity.Im prone to problems,vulnerable to mistakes,slow at realising,stupid at changing and idiotic when Im down.Ive been making mistakes faster than learning from them.Im pathetic and stupid at times.Thats why sometimes i need her support and courage to push me on.To help me realise and be a better person.Sometimes I can't stand firm when everything comes like a wave in the ocean.I can't grab on when everything's too fast.I hoped too much.Im sorry.I control,kept sticking on to the selfishness,Im sorry.I can't be perfect,Im sorry.I can't be a guy who is independant,Im sorry.Despite everything,in the name of Allah,I try,I try to change myself.Im trying to stop making mistakes because I don't want to lose her.Im sorry but Im trying.Ya Allah,give me the strength.Please Ya Allah.Help your lowly,useless and weak servant.Punish me All you want,give me pain and let me suffer.Show me the light and take me out of my darkest nightmare Ya Allah.Please Ya Allah.I beg you.You bless her and our family.Give the people I love all your blessings and hapiness.Let me have all their suffering.All i ask is hapiness for them.Amin.Im sorry.Im a disapointment.A jackass.Im sorry.